


Crossroads

by thebluesthour



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Romance, Flirting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Idol Choi Soobin, Kissing, M/M, Miscommunication, Soft Choi Soobin, Strangers to Lovers, Whipped Choi Yeonjun, fast burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27430057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebluesthour/pseuds/thebluesthour
Summary: Yeonjun lives across the street from BigHit Entertainment, which causes him a lot of problems. But he wouldn't consider new and upcoming idol Choi Soobin to be that much of a problem, in hindsight.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 193





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Welcome to my first chaptered fic! This originally was part of my [ Yeonbin Oneshots for the Soul](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870156) series, but my readers and I loved it so much that I decided to expand it! 
> 
> Not sure how many chapters it's going to be yet, and it's probably going to be a series of conflicts the boys go through during their relationship with some over-arching themes rather than one long plot. But we'll see, sometimes my stories have a mind of their own, lol. 
> 
> For those of you who may be new, just a few things to expect with this fic! 
> 
> It is NOT slow burn. I can't do that, I love the fluff too much. I also enjoy angst, so prepare for that. I also do NOT write smut. The furthest I'll go is some heated makeouts and inferences to further activities, but I refuse to write any of it. So if you came here for that solely, you will not find it lol. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy, and I'll try and update as often as possible, but with the two series and this, it may be a while between posts, I hope you can understand! 
> 
> Leave comments [ here!](https://curiouscat.me/mapsoftheseouls) and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ALSO READERS FROM THE YEONBIN SERIES: New content starts chapter 3!

All Yeonjun wanted to do was get his cup of tea from the tea cart outside his building and go up to his apartment and sleep for seventy-two hours. He had just gotten finished with a gruelling 12-hour rehearsal, and his entire body was so numb he kind of felt like he was floating across the pavement.

When he got out of his car and walked up to his building, however, he saw a swarm of people holding very large cameras that were flashing very brightly in his direction. They were shouting someone’s name and waving their hands trying to get to the front of the abysmal barricade that the police— _again?_ —had set up to separate them from whoever they were trying to see. Yeonjun sighed. This definitely wasn’t the first time he had dealt with some celebrity or another making it difficult for him to get inside his own apartment building.

Living in this district of Seoul and working for a dance company meant Yeonjun often shared spaces with various idols or other notable Koreans even though he himself was not in the limelight. His building had the unfortunate side effect of being positioned directly across from one of South Korea’s largest entertainment companies, BigHit, and since saesangs weren’t legally allowed to loiter on their property, they loitered on Yeonjun’s. Or Yeonjun’s apartment’s property.

It was ridiculously annoying and Yeonjun had mentioned it to his landlord more than a few times, but apparently BigHit gave them a generous “donation” every quarter to keep them from taking legal actions against the saesangs. Point was, there was nothing Yeonjun could do and he couldn’t exactly switch buildings because he still had a year to go on his lease and it was very close to his studio. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t complain though.

As he walked up, bag hanging off his shoulder and hair shoved under a beanie because it needed to be washed, he pulled out his entrance card to show the police. He had learned ages ago to have it ready and be prepared to stop, because god forbid someone actually live in the building these people were crowded in front of. As he pulled the card out of his pocket though, it slipped from his fingers and fell to the ground. Yeonjun swore under his breath because right then even such a minor inconvenience was enough to piss him off and bent down to retrieve it.

As he lowered himself to the ground, reaching out his hand, the saesangs suddenly grew louder and the sound of cameras filled the air. Yeonjun grabbed his card and stood up quickly, curiosity getting the best of him as he looked across the street. Sure enough, he saw the idol in question, walking out with his team of staffers that reminded Yeonjun of little parasites, always attached to their celebrity and unwilling to give even an inch of personal space. Yeonjun couldn’t imagine living like that.

The idol was young and very tall, with bright blue hair and a sweet-looking face. Yeonjun didn’t recognise him, which meant that he must have been someone new—that would explain how crazy the saesangs were acting behind him—and he honestly looked a bit surprised at the attention he was receiving. His lips parted in a little ‘o’ as he registered the shouts of his name, and he stumbled to a stop mid-step as he saw the cameras. One of his parasites gave him a little push, no doubt wanting to get him into the car as fast as possible.

Yeonjun crossed his arms, pressing his lips together as he made to turn, but right before he could, the idol’s eyes slid over and landed on him. The two made eye contact from across the street, and Yeonjun didn’t think anything of it until he noticed with a start that the boy was _blushing_. What the fuck? Well, that certainly hadn’t ever happened to Yeonjun before. He hadn’t made eye contact with any of the other BigHit idols, but probably because they were well-trained and experienced and knew not to give the general public the time of day when it came to things like this.

Yeonjun only blinked, because sure the boy was cute, but he was so untouchable it was ironic. Quite literally the personification of the ‘so close yet so far away’ cliché. They held eye contact for a few moments, because Yeonjun kind of got a kick out of making someone so famous blush, but then suddenly there was a sharp increase in the volume of shouting, including the gruff voices of the police, and before Yeonjun knew what had happened he was falling face-first onto the concrete.

His arms shot out to catch his fall, but not in enough time, and his head hit the ground painfully, knees scraping against the pavement as a runaway saesang pushed him in an attempt to get closer to the idol. The pain blossomed almost instantly and Yeonjun cursed loudly, curling into himself as more people ran around him. It was so noisy and Yeonjun’s head was already spinning and pounding and he’s pretty sure his palms were all bloody now.

He hissed as he pushed himself up, screwing his eyes shut as the pain became blinding for a moment. He blinked a few times in succession, noting that the saesangs had dispersed the instant the police tackled the one who had run into Yeonjun. Of course, it had to be noted that nobody bothered to check on Yeonjun, because he was just a nobody bystander who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He sat on the sidewalk for a moment as he gathered his bearings, looking around him to make sure he hadn’t dropped anything. His entrance card was on the ground next to him and bent which meant it probably wouldn’t work and honestly that was more frustrating than the concussion he was going to have to deal with. His bag was still on his arm somehow and thankfully nothing had fallen out.

But his hands were bleeding and his sweats had rips in the knees and he groaned, frustrated. He finally looked up then and was a bit surprised to see the idol boy looking worriedly over at him. Only a handful of minutes had passed, but Yeonjun was a bit confused as to why the boy hadn’t been shoved into his car and driven off the moment things appeared dangerous. It did appear that that’s exactly what his managers were trying to do, but he kept ignoring them, only turning to swat them away from him.

Yeonjun scoffed to himself, because he didn’t want the idol’s pity, and he pushed himself up off the ground. He winced, palms stinging and head pounding, and he did his best to untwist his bag and smooth out his sweater. He glanced across the street one last time, and his jaw dropped as he saw the boy actually _crossing the street_. He was looking both ways awkwardly, arms crossed over his cardigan, and Yeonjun’s eyes widened as he came right up to him, stopping a few feet away.

Behind him, his parasite managers were having a heart attack it appeared, talking on phones and shooting the boy angry glares and did this boy really come to check on Yeonjun?

“Excuse me,” said boy greeted, voice a lot deeper than Yeonjun expected. Yeonjun looked at him, blinking a few times, not sure what to say. The boy swallowed, and Yeonjun’s gaze flickered to the boy’s neck, before quickly looking back at his face. Up close, there was no denying his attractiveness, and if Yeonjun hadn’t been in such physical pain and annoyance he might have flirted with the boy. “Can I help you?” he asked, voice clearly conveying his unwillingness to stay for a conversation.

The boy flinched a little, which made Yeonjun feel kind of bad, but he couldn’t be bothered to spare the boy any kindness. He just wanted to get inside and take a shower and go to bed. “I’m sorry that that saesang pushed you,” the idol said quietly. Yeonjun swallowed, looking at the staffers across the street who were still shouting into their phones and watching the idol as if he was a criminal. “I’m fine, so you can go now,” he replied, clearly dismissive.

He adjusted his bag, wincing again as a sharp pain shot through his shoulder. Great, add that to the list of injuries he was going to have to deal with. “You’re hurt, let me go talk to my managers and then I can take you to the hospital, or maybe you can see the company doctor-,” he started to say, but Yeonjun only got more annoyed and cut him off. “I said I’m fine!” he responded, taking a step back. “I don’t want your help, and you don’t owe me anything, so just let me go inside so I can deal with this in private.”

The idol’s eyes widened, before he nodded a few times in fast succession, bowing deeply. “I’m so sorry again, I didn’t mean to keep you,” he apologised. And once again, Yeonjun faltered, feeling bad. But he didn’t say anything, because the pain in his head was growing almost overwhelming and he really needed to go lie down. So he turned and started to walk towards the front door to his building, remembering the code to enter manually.

But as he walked, he tripped a little, his equilibrium suddenly off, and he had to grab the brick wall to steady himself. White dots popped up in his vision, and he whimpered a bit, closing his eyes as his world spun. He felt a hand on his back, and another on his shoulder, and the voice of the idol filled his ears again but Yeonjun didn’t have the energy to let himself be annoyed. “Okay, you’re seriously not alright, please let me help you,” the boy said, worried. Yeonjun sighed but couldn’t deny the fact that he probably should accept the help. The boy had a sturdy but gentle grip on him, and he felt himself leaning into it for support.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be? Are you even allowed to be doing this?” he whispered. He could see the boy shake his head from his peripheral, gently walking Yeonjun to the front door. “There’s nothing in my contract about helping someone who got hurt because of me,” he replied simply. Yeonjun lifted his head, and the boy’s face was so close to his that he could make out the flecks of gold in his chocolatey brown eyes. “I don’t even know your name,” Yeonjun said.

The boy blushed again, cheeks turning a pretty cherry red, before he giggled a bit. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard that, it’s nice,” he muttered, eyes flickering down for a moment. “My name is Soobin.” Yeonjun blinked, searching in his brain for any mentions of a ‘Soobin’ under BigHit Entertainment, but he found nothing. He must really be living under a rock, or working too hard, one of the two. Maybe both. “I’m Yeonjun, nice to meet you,” he introduced, the situation comical save for the searing pain coursing through his head and hands and knees.

The boy—Soobin—giggled a bit, before looking over his shoulder. He still had a hold of Yeonjun, and Yeonjun appreciated it. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it up without the extra support, loathe as he was to admit it. “My managers are going to kill me,” he mumbled. Yeonjun turned his head, following Soobin’s gaze and seeing one of the parasites in particular shouting at Soobin to get back over there or they would be late. His eyes were bugging out and he looked two seconds away from an aneurysm.

Yeonjun glanced at Soobin, who looked very conflicted, and he sighed. “Soobin-ssi, I don’t want you to get in trouble, and we don’t even know each other, so please don’t feel obligated to help me,” he insisted. Soobin looked at him, before letting go of Yeonjun’s body abruptly. The dancer gasped as he lost his balance, before Soobin caught him again. “I’m not going to just leave you by yourself,” he retorted, his voice serious. “Can you sit on the sidewalk for two seconds while I go calm my staff down?”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened, because surely, he was living out a fanfiction, this didn’t happen in real life, did it? But Soobin was looking at him so desperately, as if he would be personally offended if Yeonjun tried to dismiss him again, and so Yeonjun just nodded and let Soobin help him sit down criss-cross on the pavement in front of his building. Thank God it was mid-morning and the streets were—at least now—relatively empty save for the passing cars.

Soobin gave him a worried look, before dashing across the street. Yeonjun watched as he argued with his managers, who were quite literally pulling their hair out, before brandishing their fingers in his face and appearing to give him a series of very terrifying warnings. But Soobin just nodded his bright blue-haired head and bowed a few times, glancing over at Yeonjun every other second.

Yeonjun felt his exhaustion hit him as he sat and waited, his eyelids growing heavy and the pain becoming a bit more bearable now that he wasn’t focused on not falling over. This was not how he was expecting his morning to go at all, but he supposed his life had been a bit mundane up to now, so maybe this was the universe intervening to give said life some spice. He didn’t know, and he didn’t particularly care.

Soobin rushed back across the street just then, with a weak smile on his face and a folder clutched in his hand. “Okay, up we go,” he said, leaning down and scooping Yeonjun up so easily it made Yeonjun squeak in surprise. “You’re not in trouble?” he asked, punching in his code. Was he seriously about to let a Korean pop idol up into his apartment? Apparently, yes. He could blame his lack of hesitation on his concussion.

Soobin shook his head, following Yeonjun into the lobby. “As long as you can sign this NDA, that’s what they were most worried about,” he informed. Yeonjun glanced at the folder, before shrugging and nodding. It wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone what had happened anyway, he didn’t really have friends, just acquaintances. As Soobin helped him to the elevator, he suddenly stopped, gasping. “Yeonjun-ssi!” he said. Yeonjun turned to look over his shoulder, furrowing his brow when he saw a mortified expression on Soobin’s face.

“I didn’t even ask if it was okay if I came into your home!” he exclaimed, shame leaking into his tone. “That was so presumptuous of me, I’m so sorry, I can just take you to your door and then leave, I promise,” he rushed. Yeonjun blinked, pressing the button for the elevator. “Soobin-ssi, it’s okay,” he assured, voice quiet.

Soobin bit his lip, eyes sweeping over Yeonjun’s features, before he nodded. Yeonjun offered him a small smile, before turning away and waiting for the elevator doors to slide open.

Once they were both at Yeonjun’s door, he punched in his code again and walked in. He was too tired and hurt to care about any sort of mess, and he had a feeling Soobin wasn’t one to judge. The idol still had a hand on Yeonjun’s shoulder until they got to Yeonjun’s living room. When Yeonjun sat on his couch, Soobin pulled his hand away and hesitated for a moment, before sitting next to him.

Yeonjun sighed in relief as he carefully leaned against the cushions, already feeling a bit better. He turned to look at Soobin, before remembering the NDA, and he held his hand out, before seeing the scrapes on his palm. Soobin saw them too, leaning forward and placing the folder on Yeonjun’s coffee table before standing. “Where do you keep your first aid kit?” he asked. Yeonjun blinked up at him, before pointing in the direction of his bathroom. “In the cabinet above the sink,” he supplied.

Soobin nodded, before disappearing down the hall. Yeonjun blinked a few times, before sitting up a bit and rubbing his temple. His head still hurt, but not nearly as bad as before, except for the bruise right in the centre of his forehead. Hopefully it would go away soon. He decided he should probably text his choreographer to let her know he would need a few days to recover, but he remembered his injured hands and figured it would be better to wait.

He didn’t know how much medical experience Soobin had, but he assumed it didn’t take a genius to disinfect and bandage some superficial scrapes. He took a deep breath, and then Soobin returned, holding some disinfecting wipes and a roll of gauze in his hands. He gave Yeonjun a kind smile as he sat down, placing the items on the table. “May I?” he asked, gesturing to Yeonjun’s hands.

Yeonjun felt himself start to blush so he quickly nodded, thrusting his arms in Soobin’s direction. The boy took his right hand in his so tenderly it made Yeonjun’s heart pick up a bit, and as he treated the scrapes, Yeonjun didn’t even notice the slight sting. He was too distracted by staring at the profile of Soobin’s face, how the sunlight highlighted his smooth skin and sharp features. He really was very pretty. And if he was this kind, Yeonjun could definitely see himself developing a crush in the future. Not that he’d ever see Soobin again after this, but still.

Soobin carefully treated the cuts on each hand, and wrapped Yeonjun’s palms with clean gauze. “There you go, all set,” he announced as he finished, gently returning Yeonjun’s hands to him. Yeonjun smiled, before leaning forward and sliding the NDA towards him. He took the pen that was hooked to the folder off and found where he was supposed to sign. Once everything bore his signature, he handed the forms back to Soobin. The boy smiled, though it looked a bit forced and a tad disappointed (what?), and then stood.

“Is it okay if I make sure you get into bed alright, and then I’ll let myself out?” he asked. Yeonjun stared up at him, before nodding. He let Soobin help him up, and this time he slid his arm around Yeonjun’s waist, and Yeonjun tried not to enjoy it too much. It had been a long time since someone had held him in such a way, and even though it meant nothing, he could still appreciate it.

Soobin gave him some privacy to change into pajamas, and then he helped tuck Yeonjun into bed like a child, but Yeonjun found he actually enjoyed it quite a lot. Soobin was unbearably kind and gentle with him, even though he really didn’t have to be.

Once he was all comfortable and secured, Soobin stepped back. The two looked at each other for a moment, before Yeonjun cleared his throat. “Thank you, Soobin-ssi,” he whispered. Soobin smiled a bit, bowing once. “I’m really sorry again, and I hope that you feel better soon,” he replied. Yeonjun returned the smile, before Soobin turned around swiftly and walked out, closing his bedroom door.

Yeonjun listened, and a few moments later, his front door clicked shut, locking automatically. He sighed, deciding it would probably not be a good use of his time to ponder over everything that had just happened. He was exhausted and needed his rest, so he set an alarm on his phone, pulled the blankets up, and fell asleep almost instantly.

When he walked out to his kitchen the next morning, he was pleasantly surprised to see a note left on his counter. Written in the same ink Yeonjun used to sign Soobin’s NDA, was a scribbled message.

_So I can offer you a better first impression._

Below was a phone number, and then Soobin’s name, accompanied with a smiley face. Yeonjun was so endeared, he snatched up the note and walked back as quickly as he could to grab his phone. He wasn’t going to let himself pass this opportunity up, even if it might have been the smart thing to do. 


	2. 2

If you asked Yeonjun where he thought he’d be the second week of November he’d probably answer with his dance studio or his apartment or out getting groceries. He lived a rather mundane and predictable life, or at least he used to, until about two months ago. Two months ago, when a certain blue-haired Korean pop idol entered in his life and subsequently turned it upside down. Cliché’s were really the most appropriate way to describe Choi Soobin, and so that’s exactly what he did.

The boy was like a diamond in the rough, sharp at the edges but soft on the inside, a bundle of kindness and gentleness that Yeonjun had been severely lacking in his life. He was fiercely shy but also wildly articulate when he got comfortable, and Yeonjun fell _hard_. Metaphorically, not physically like the first time they met.

After that day, Yeonjun had texted Soobin a series of interrogation-level questions inquiring on his intentions and what exactly he expected to get out of him. Soobin had gotten straight to the point and called Yeonjun “snarky but cute” and that it had been a long time since anyone had caught his attention for more than five seconds. And it had been even longer since someone hadn’t liked him for his fame. Yet another cliché that fit him perfectly.

The first few weeks had just been strictly virtual. Texting, a handful of phone calls, and a video call almost every other night. Soobin had plenty to talk about, and Yeonjun missed human interaction so much that he listened with enthusiasm. They were wonderfully similar, two sides of the same coin (to use another cliché), and so the conversation flowed easily and effortlessly between the two.

Soobin was funny when he wanted to be, and he found everything Yeonjun said to be hilarious, which meant Yeonjun got to see the boy giggling more often than he wasn’t. His dimples were so deep Yeonjun wished he could reach through the screen and touch them. The rare times they saw each other in person (usually when Soobin had a free day in his schedule and could sneak across the street early in the morning), Yeonjun poked and prodded the boy as much as he was allowed. He was a touchy person, but Soobin was too, and they fit together well in that aspect too.

It didn’t take long for their flirtatious friendship to blossom into something more, and when Soobin asked Yeonjun if he wanted to be his boyfriend, Yeonjun didn’t even think about the logistics of dating a closeted idol when he said yes. He lead with his heart on his sleeve, and Soobin had brought so much happiness to his otherwise dull life, there was no room in his mind for hesitation. And to see Soobin’s face light up in such euphoria made Yeonjun vow to do everything he could to return said happiness.

But reality caught up, and the logistics didn’t just disappear.

And so that’s how he found himself in the office of Soobin’s managing board, which wasn’t actually Soobin’s managing board, but Tomorrow by Together’s managing board. Soobin was actually the leader of a four-person Kpop group, though Yeonjun had yet to meet the other three members. According to Soobin, they knew of his existence and what he was to Soobin, but it was hard enough for Soobin to get to see Yeonjun in person, let alone the entire quartet. But he supposed that would change now.

Now that Soobin had informed his managers that he was seeing someone and started the process of making sure Yeonjun wasn’t after Soobin’s money or looking to exploit him in any way. Soobin had dreaded said process, telling Yeonjun he felt like it was a ridiculous invasion of privacy, but Yeonjun had reassured him with a kiss that if that’s what it took for them to be able to see each other more, he’d do whatever he needed.

And apparently what he needed to do was sign a fuck ton of NDA’s and promise not to hinder Soobin or Tomorrow by Together’s careers in any way. There was also a “relationship contract” which Yeonjun could admit was pretty weird, like a prenup but for non-married couples. As he read over it, his eyes widened at some of the clauses.

_1.1: No physical marks of affection in visible locations on the receiver._

_1.2: No proposals of marriage before the client has completed their mandatory military service._

_1.3: Signer agrees to quarterly tests for sexually-transmitted diseases, without exception._

Yeonjun read each clause closely, swallowing nervously and doing his best not to roll his eyes or die of embarrassment. The contract covered so many things that he and Soobin hadn’t even thought to discuss yet, seeing as they had only been officially together for a handful of weeks. But Yeonjun signed anyways, promising not to do anything scandalous or detrimental to the entertainment company.

After he slid the papers back over, Soobin’s managers filed them away and pushed him another piece of paper. “This is Soobin-ssi’s schedule. The days marked in green are they days he is permitted to see you, but only with prior confirmation and only at either your residence or his here at BigHit,” the manager in the centre explained, gaze firm. Yeonjun leaned forward to look at it, actually surprised to see quite a few days blocked off. They were single days, which meant he’d have to leave early the next morning, but there were a handful of weekends too. Regardless, it was more than what they got now, so Yeonjun tried to be grateful.

“So, I can’t take him out on dates?” he asked, already knowing the answer. He got three annoyed stares back, before he just nodded and bowed, taking the sheet of paper and folding it. “Right, I understand,” he apologised. “Is there anything else to go over?” The managers shared a glance, before shaking their heads and standing up. Yeonjun did the same, relief washing over him at finally being finished. He was uncomfortable and the fluorescents were starting to hurt his eyes. As he bowed, the centre manager reminded him of one final thing, the thing that had been one of the most imperative.

“It is of utmost importance that if you are seen with Soobin-ssi, it is in a strictly platonic manner that implies nothing more than friendship, for the sake of the image of Tomorrow by Together and BigHit Entertainment,” she said, unblinking. Yeonjun stared back, a million snarky (to use Soobin’s description) comebacks racing through his mind. But he only smiled and nodded, bowing again. “Of course, thank you,” he replied. The woman narrowed her eyes a bit, before nodding, and Yeonjun turned around, expression dropping as he rolled his eyes and walked out.

As soon as he stepped out, Soobin rushed up to him from where he had been waiting outside. His eyes were wide and anxious, and he reached out for Yeonjun almost immediately. “How did it go?” he asked, hands resting on Yeonjun’s elbows. Yeonjun felt himself relax a bit, and he shrugged, unfolding the schedule he had been given. “Pretty much exactly as you described,” he said, before holding out the paper. “They gave us days we can be together either here or my place,” he informed.

Soobin’s brows rose as he took the paper, examining it closely. Yeonjun bit his lip as he watched the younger’s eyes scan over it, lips moving as he mouthed the dates to himself. He looked beautiful, dressed in casual clothes and face free of makeup. His hair was a bit tangled, but still so soft, and Yeonjun reached up to run his fingers through it. Soobin folded the paper back up and handed it to Yeonjun. “Well, today is blocked off, so do you want to maybe see where I spend my free time?” he asked.

Yeonjun chuckled, shoving the paper into his back pocket. “You mean where you live?” he teased. Soobin rolled his eyes, stepping closer and settling a large hand on Yeonjun’s hip. “Do you or do you not?” he repeated. Yeonjun smiled, poking Soobin’s nose and nodding. “I’d love to, baby,” he replied. Soobin blushed, turning away and sliding his arm around Yeonjun’s back to loop his waist, and the two walked to the elevators.

Soobin stood close to him, trying hard not to smile too wide, and Yeonjun nudged him. “It’s okay to be excited you know,” he whispered. Soobin blushed, pulling the older closer to his side and allowing his grin to expand. “It’s not stupid? I feel like we’re still getting a pretty shitty deal,” he replied. Yeonjun shrugged, resting his head on Soobin’s shoulder. “For the positions we’re in, it’s probably pretty fair,” he mused. Soobin hummed, and then the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

Yeonjun let Soobin guide him down a winding hallway and one shelf overflowing with trophies and awards from BigHit’s most successful group, BTS. He would’ve liked to stop and examine them up close—how many times would he get to see an actual Grammy award in person?—but Soobin just kept walking them down the hallway. They passed a series of doors, before passing one that had music and a lot of voices coming out of it.

“What’s in there?” Yeonjun asked, curiosity getting the best of him. He looked at Soobin, who had stopped walking too and was looking at the door as if it had offended him somehow. “Uh, it’s just my dongsaeng’s practicing probably,” he informed. Yeonjun’s brows shot up and he looked again, pulling away from Soobin to try and peer through the little cut out in the door. Soobin grabbed him though, pulling him back and shaking his head. “No, it’s okay, you don’t have to meet them yet,” he insisted, eyes wide and a bit embarrassed.

Yeonjun pouted, shoulders slumping a bit as he grabbed Soobin’s hand and squeezed it. “I want to,” he reassured. “Unless you don’t want me to?” At the slight hint of feigned hurt, Soobin jolted, shaking his head fast. “No! They’re just crazy and might bombard you with inappropriate questions,” he said. Yeonjun giggled, carefully pulling the younger towards the door. “But you said they were excited to meet me?” he remarked. Soobin sighed, letting himself be pulled.

“They are, and that’s why I’m scared,” he mumbled. Yeonjun cooed, ruffling Soobin’s hair and giving his cheek a quick kiss. “They’re the most important people in your life, I would love to meet them,” he said quietly, seriously. Soobin looked up from where he had been pouting at his feet, and his eyes had a twinkle in them, as if he wanted to say something but didn’t have the confidence to. Before Yeonjun could question it, though, the idol only nodded, standing up straight and going to the door. “Your funeral,” he said simply, making Yeonjun laugh as Soobin opened the door and they both walked in.

As soon as they did, Yeonjun saw three boys of varying heights (but all ridiculously tall like himself and Soobin) stop what they were doing and turn to face the couple. Yeonjun swallowed, confidence a bit lost under the gazes, and he kind of felt like he was about to be interrogated. Soobin came up behind him, sliding a hand around his back to rest on his hip. “Taehyun, Beomgyu, Hyuka, this is Yeonjun-hyung,” he introduced. Yeonjun blushed a bit, giving a little wave as the three young idols all stared at him inquisitively.

One of them had white-blonde hair that was pushed back with a sweat band, his face looking like it was carved from the same marble used to sculpt the Adonis, and he had big bright eyes. The one next to him had dark, fluffy hair that curled over a round, sweet-looking face. He was a bit taller, and kind of reminded Yeonjun of a teddy bear. The last one looked the most different, with a more chiselled face, the slope of his nose more angular and curved. He had dark hair too, long but not as fluffy, and he was the tallest one of them all. He had a bit of baby fat left on his cheeks, and his legs made a bow shape that Yeonjun had never seen before. He was obviously Korean, but the American in him was clear as day up close.

They were all objectively beautiful, and Yeonjun could very clearly understand why they were as popular as they were even just a couple years post-debut. Soobin hadn’t told him a lot about them, on the basis of not wanting to speak for them or influence Yeonjun’s opinion, but he could have at least prepared him for how intimidating they were. At least, until they opened their mouths and words came out.

“It’s Soobin-hyung’s boyfriend!” Hueningkai screeched, dropping his water bottle and running up to bow deeply to Yeonjun. “It’s an honour to meet you, Yeonjun-sunbaenim,” he greeted. Yeonjun’s eyes widened, and he glanced at Soobin, who only sighed and rolled his eyes, reaching forward without letting go of Yeonjun to swat the top of Kai’s head. “No need to be so formal, Hyuka, geez,” he said. Kai shot back up, eyes round and innocent as he looked at Soobin. “Right, sorry,” he apologised, before looking back at Yeonjun and bowing his head once. “Nice to meet you, Yeonjun-ssi, my name is Hueningkai,” he corrected.

Yeonjun chuckled a bit, covering his smile as he returned the bow. “Hello, Hueningkai,” he replied. “You can call me hyung.” Kai gasped and squealed at that, clapping his hands as he went to hug Soobin. “Hyung, he’s so _cool_ ,” he said loudly. Yeonjun blushed, and then the Greek god Taehyun introduced himself next, much calmer and reserved. He bowed, before looking back and forth between Yeonjun and Soobin. “I have heard a lot about you, Yeonjun-ssi, it’s an honour to finally meet you,” he said.

Yeonjun smiled warmly, returning the sentiment. Soobin had let go of him to follow Kai to the centre of the room, where the maknae was excitedly showing him a video on his phone, leaving Yeonjun alone to meet Beomgyu, by far the most intimidating of the three. He had a very serious stare, and something about him made Yeonjun gulp nervously. “Soobin-hyung has never had a boyfriend before,” Beomgyu said quietly. Taehyun still stood next to him, but he stayed quiet, letting Beomgyu speak.

Yeonjun nodded, clasping his hands together as Beomgyu continued speaking. “And he’s very special to all of us, do you understand what I’m saying?” It was clear then that Beomgyu was playing the role of protective best friend, and Yeonjun could respect that immensely. Despite his own nerves, he was glad that Soobin had someone like that in his life. And so he nodded, bowing deeply. “I do understand, Beomgyu-ssi, and I promise to do everything I can to make him happy,” he assured.

Beomgyu stared him down for a couple more seconds, before suddenly smiling and shattering Yeonjun’s entire perception of him. “Great! I’m super excited to hang out with you, hyung says you’re a dancer?” he said excitedly, face lit up and no trace of the seriousness that was there only seconds before. It kind of gave Yeonjun whiplash, but he brushed it off, and he smiled back as he nodded. “Yeah, I’m a choreographer,” he replied. Beomgyu beamed, before turning over his shoulder. “Yah! Soobin-hyung! You should show Yeonjun-hyung our newest dance!” he shouted.

Soobin lifted his head, walking over and going to Yeonjun, resting a hand on his shoulder as he looked at Beomgyu. “Which one?” he inquired.

“Blue hour!”

Yeonjun watched as Soobin bit his lip, glancing at Yeonjun. “Would you want to watch?” he asked shyly. Yeonjun smiled, playfully pushing Soobin. “Of course I want to watch, finally see the famous Choi Soobin in action,” he teased. Soobin blushed, before nodding and letting go. Beomgyu clapped and grabbed Taehyun’s hand to pull the both of them to the centre of the room. “Hyuka! We’re doing a run-through, come on!” he cried. Kai quickly sat his phone down as Soobin guided Yeonjun to where he could sit and watch.

He looked over his shoulder, before stepping closer to Yeonjun. “You okay?” he murmured. Yeonjun smiled, running his fingers over Soobin’s cheek. “Perfect,” he replied. Soobin blushed furiously and Yeonjun patted his chest, chuckling. “Go! Dance for me!” he encouraged. Soobin rolled his eyes but did as he was told, going to meet with his three dongsaengs.

Yeonjun gave Kai a thumbs up as he looked at him expectantly, and he found that he was actually genuinely excited to see the routine. He realised as the music started that he was getting an exclusive preview, and he wondered how his childhood friends would react if they found out this was how he was spending his days.

The four idols got into formation, and then the routine started. Yeonjun watched closely, mesmerised almost instantly, and ridiculously impressed with how synchronised they were. The footwork was nearly impeccable, and there were only some slight missteps that Yeonjun attributed to lack of enough time to practice. Soobin was magical, moving fluidly like water, six feet of pure elegance.

When the dance ended, Yeonjun clapped obnoxiously and Kai ran up, grabbing his hand surprisingly and pulling on it eagerly. “What did you think?!” he screamed. Beomgyu pulled him back, scolding him for being so loud. Yeonjun chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay,” he said. “I honestly don’t have that many criticisms, you are all excellent dancers.” He sent a wink to Soobin then, who smiled a bit, ducking his head. Taehyun stepped forward, always observant. “But you do have some criticisms?” he asked, no malice in his voice. Yeonjun bit his lip, looking at all of them. He was hesitant to criticise such an accomplished group of dancers, but they must have noticed, because they all rushed to reassure him that they appreciated any feedback they could receive.

Soobin walked around them to rub Yeonjun’s back. “It’s rare we get any outsiders watching us, so your opinion is really valuable,” he explained. Yeonjun locked eyes with him, before nodding, walking forward and turning to face them.

“So, um,” he started to say, going over the dance in his head. “This part might flow better if you pull your arm into your chest, rather than your side.” He performed the move, his feet sliding on the linoleum easily. He wasn’t quite dressed to dance, but he worked with it, completing the move with the added step. After he completed it, he straightened and looked at the four idols. He blushed as he saw all of them staring at him with their jaws dropped, varying degrees of shock on their faces.

He clasped his hands together, chewing his lip. “It’s just a, uh, suggestion, you don’t have to do it, of course,” he rushed. The boys stayed silent, still just staring at him for a few seconds, until Taehyun broke the silence. “You’re a fucking genius,” he said, completely serious. “How did you memorise that move after watching it once?” Yeonjun’s eyes widened, and he fish-mouthed for a second, not entirely knowing what to say.

Beomgyu bounded up then, turning to stand next to Yeonjun. “Can you do it again? I want to try,” he said, getting into position. Yeonjun blinked, glancing at Soobin, who schooled his expression to smile brightly at Yeonjun, giving him an encouraging nod.

And so for the next hour, Yeonjun helped sensational Kpop group Tomorrow by Together learn their new dance. They asked for his highest standard of criticisms, and so he nit-picked everything down to the inches between their feet and the direction of their fingers when they pointed. And when Soobin finally called the rehearsal complete, the three younger members all thanked Yeonjun profusely and promised to tell their choreographer how much he had helped. Yeonjun brushed off the praise, and soon enough the others had to go do schoolwork (except for Beomgyu, but he insisted he should tag along to help tutor them) and then it was just Soobin and Yeonjun again.

As Soobin walked them to the dormitories, he pressed several kisses to Yeonjun’s cheek. “You’re amazing, you know that, right?” he complimented. Yeonjun hummed, preening and clutching Soobin’s arm. “You can say it again if you want,” he joked. Soobin giggled, stopping mid-step to capture Yeonjun’s jaw in his hand and press a gentle kiss to his lips. Yeonjun’s hand automatically lifted to cup Soobin’s jaw, but the kiss broke off too soon as Soobin pushed open the door the dorms and pulled him inside.

“Home sweet home,” he said, sighing and rolling his shoulders. Yeonjun looked around the space as they walked further in. It was a bright space, but not very personable to the individual members. However, as Soobin guided him back to the bedrooms, and he entered Soobin’s room, he was happy to see elements of the boy on the walls and in the shelves. He had a lot of books, several plushies piled on his bed, and so many plants it felt like a jungle. They weren’t allowed pets, so he made do with his succulents and ferns.

Soobin took his shoes off and went to his dresser, digging through it to find some sweats and a clean shirt. “Make yourself at home, I’ll be right back, okay?” Yeonjun nodded, and Soobin disappeared, most likely to go change. Yeonjun spent the time examining his plants, peering up at the ones on the high windowsill and smiling. He should buy Soobin a plant. He took off his own shoes and sat down on Soobin’s bed. It was really comfortable, and he yawned, the exhaustion of the morning catching up to him. He stretched out his legs, shook out his hair, and before he could think of something else to do, Soobin returned.

He shut the door behind him, smiling as he tossed his dirty clothes somewhere in the corner of his room. “I really like your room,” Yeonjun said. Soobin beamed, sitting on the bed in front of him. “Thank you.”

The couple stared at each other for a few seconds, before they both leaned forward and met in the middle with a kiss. Yeonjun’s hands weaved around Soobin’s neck as he knee-crawled into his lap, Soobin’s large hands helping him stay balanced. They hadn’t been able to do this before, but Yeonjun had imagined it so many times, and the reality was even sweeter. He fit in Soobin’s lap like a puzzle piece, ankles locking easily behind his back, and Soobin held him so perfectly he never wanted to leave.

Their lips slid against each other, hot and wet, making butterflies take off in Yeonjun’s stomach and his body lean forward for more. Soobin met his pace easily, one hand going to rest on the nape of Yeonjun’s neck, fingers stroking the short hairs there. Yeonjun couldn’t enough, parting his lips and letting Soobin’s tongue explore his mouth. He moaned a little, clenching a fist in Soobin’s hair.

The younger pulled away for air, and Yeonjun gasped as he finally registered the pain in his own lungs. They caught their breath as they stared at each other, and Yeonjun smiled, resting his forehead against Soobin’s. “You’re kind of enthralling,” he whispered. Soobin giggled, kissing the underside of Yeonjun’s jaw. “Another one of your cliches?” he asked. Yeonjun pulled back, carding his fingers methodically through Soobin’s blue locks.

“No, not this time.”

Soobin blushed, before pulling Yeonjun back in for another kiss.


	3. 3

The very first month was hard. It was hard to get used to being so micro-managed. At least for Yeonjun. Soobin hadn’t had a moment of free will—to be dramatic—since he was fifteen, so he’d had plenty of time to adjust. Yeonjun played by the rules, but it was still hard to understand that he couldn’t plan dates or drop-in by surprise or do anything without letting at least four other people know.

There was no privacy. Yeonjun knew that as time went on things would either become more relaxed as BigHit grew to trust him, or they would tighten to the point where Yeonjun was afraid Soobin might think it wouldn’t be worth it. It stressed Yeonjun out to think about it too much, so he shoved the thoughts down as far as he could and only focused on what he could do.

And what he could do was have Soobin over at his place during the days he was available. Soobin had confessed to him after showing him in his space at the BigHit building that he preferred to be at Yeonjun’s. He appreciated the simplicity and normalcy of being in an actual apartment, and that fact that he knew no cameras were recording him. That comment made Yeonjun’s eyes widen, and his plans to sneak Soobin into a broom closet to make out during one of his rehearsal breaks (when Yeonjun was allowed to visit) flew out the window.

So Yeonjun’s home slowly became Soobin’s second home. They pressed fast-forward on some of the tenants of an established relationship, making up for the ones moving at a snails’ pace. Yeonjun cleared out a drawer for Soobin to leave some clothes, he had his own toothbrush, and eventually Yeonjun would give him a key. He was holding off on that since he had few big gifts he would be able to give Soobin, and he wanted to savour them.

That first month, Soobin was clingy. So was Yeonjun, but he worried about the younger. He always seemed too enthusiastic when he showed up at Yeonjun’s door and devastated when he had to leave. Experiencing such strong emotions that often couldn’t have been healthy, but there wasn’t exactly anyone Yeonjun could talk to about it. His friends and family lived hours away, and the amount of NDA’s he had to sign made him wary to even tell them he was dating someone.

His colleagues at the dance studio had begun noticing the changes in him though, how happy he was the nights during practice when he knew Soobin was coming over later. How distracted he was the mornings after when he had to watch Soobin literally hold back tears at leaving. It was taking a toll on the both of them, and Yeonjun just hoped it was the adjustment period kicking their asses and they’d be okay as soon as they adapted.

But maybe Yeonjun should talk to his boyfriend. Make sure that he’s taking care of himself since Yeonjun couldn’t yet.

Three weeks into their new arrangement (what a strange way to say _relationship_ ) Yeonjun decided to sit Soobin down and have a serious conversation about how he was handling everything. It’s not like BigHit provided couples’ therapy, so any problems they had it was important to Yeonjun that they work them out as quickly and honestly as possible. Soobin was already an extremely stressed young man and Yeonjun didn’t want to contribute any more.

He went grocery shopping after his early morning rehearsal, grabbing some of Soobin’s favourite foods and treats. Soobin would know something was up, Yeonjun never went this fancy when he cooked for them. Hopefully the food would relax the younger though.

Yeonjun hummed under his breath as he shopped, one of the demos that Soobin had sent him from their next project, that he had been listening to non-stop. He supposed that was a cool perk to dating a Korean pop idol, getting early access and exclusive peeks at what the public wasn’t aware of.

As Yeonjun checked out and carried his bags to his car, he heard his phone buzz. He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading as he loaded the groceries into his trunk and then pulled out his phone. He had been included in a BigHit group chat, but it was really just the four idols, Yeonjun, and an absent staffer who probably couldn’t be bothered to keep track of five young adults’ private conversations.

The buzz came from his private conversation with Soobin though, and that made him smile more. The boy sent a series of heart emojis before confirming the time he was going to arrive that evening. Yeonjun replied with the affirmative, tacking on an “I miss you” because he did. Soobin sent back the crying emojis, along with a few more suggestive ones, which made Yeonjun roll his eyes fondly and lock his phone as he got into his car.

With dinner warming on the stove, Yeonjun went to take a quick shower. He washed his hair and body, taking extra care with his washing his face, and when he stepped out he moisturised his skin so it was extra soft. Not for any particular reason, he just enjoyed smelling nice and feeling nice for his boyfriend. Now that he had a reason to keep up his appearance (not that he didn’t maintain good hygiene before) he put a lot more effort into it. He didn’t go too far, but he had started conditioning his hair and always liked it when Soobin noticed.

Once he was dressed down in a pair of joggers and a loose shirt, he went into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water as he waited for the tell-tale knock on his door. He sipped the cool water, going over the words in his head he planned to tell Soobin. He had thought them out carefully, making sure that they weren’t too much or that Soobin would misinterpret anything. He was sensitive—something that Yeonjun loved—but he oftentimes jumped to negative conclusions because it was easier for him to prepare for the worst than hope for the best.

Yeonjun hoped maybe this conversation would help ease his mind and help him begin to rewire his outlook on the world. His life might not be his yet, but Yeonjun believed over time he would regain control. It was the give and take of the idol industry he had learned. And one of the very reasons he had turned down the offer BigHit made him over a year ago.

He had yet to tell Soobin about it, how he was asked to come on as assistant choreographer for TXT but had turned it down. He used to consider those positions to be sellout positions, in it for the money instead of the craft. He still believed that to be true of other companies, but now that he was dating Soobin, he had a different perception of BigHit. He didn’t regret turning it down, but he did wonder if it would have brought him closer to Soobin faster, and if their relationship would have had an entirely different dynamic if he had.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Enough pondering. Yeonjun set his glass down and wiped his mouth as he rushed to his front door. It was kind of pathetic how excited a simple knock made him, but he was falling in love, leave him alone. He opened the door, and Soobin stood there, cheeks flushed from running over, hair windswept off his forehead. He was dressed in a pair of light wash jeans, with a purple shirt and cream cardigan draped over him. He looked adorable and soft and sweet and Yeonjun pulled him in for a kiss as soon as the door clicked shut behind him.

He squeaked a bit, as if surprised by the kiss, and that only made Yeonjun kiss him harder. He swiped an experimental tongue over Soobin’s lower lip, and the boy positively melted, but unfortunately Yeonjun didn’t invite him over just to make out. And so he pulled away, letting himself bask in the sight of his flustered boyfriend. His lips were slightly swollen and shiny, and his cheeks had a high flush on them. Yeonjun chuckled, before turning and going into the kitchen.

“I made all of your favourites!” he exclaimed, gesturing to the spread on the counter. He watched as Soobin’s eyes widened, lips parting as he looked at everything. He glanced at Yeonjun, furrowing his brows a bit. “Are we celebrating something?” he asked slowly. Yeonjun giggled, shaking his head as he pulled down two bowls and handed one to the younger. “Just felt like spoiling you,” he replied. Soobin’s ears turned pink as he spun away and started putting stuff in his bowl. Yeonjun smiled a bit, before doing the same.

Once they each had their bowls full, they sat down on the living room floor, propping their elbows against the coffee table and facing each other. Yeonjun waited until they had each eaten a few bites before speaking. “How was your day?” he started. He wasn’t going to dive straight into the intense stuff, he wanted Soobin warmed up and comfortable first. He was well on his way, back already slouching as he let himself relax. “Crazy. We’re going over the final mixes of our songs and I swear Taehyun is gonna force us to have to re-record with how many criticisms he has,” he answered, rolling his eyes fondly.

Yeonjun chuckled, eating a couple more bites. “Have you announced anything to your fans yet?” he asked next. Soobin shook his head as he chewed, rushing and swallowing, setting his bowl down on the table. “The album announcement drops next week,” he supplied. Yeonjun nodded, finishing his bite and putting his bowl aside too. Soobin was taking a drink of water, and Yeonjun did his best not to watch his boyfriend’s throat as he drank.

When the glass was set down, Yeonjun decided it was time. He took a breath, and sat up a little, lacing his fingers together.

“Soobin-ah, we need to talk.”

And okay, maybe his tone was way too serious because Soobin’s reaction was a terrified one. His eyes widened as his face paled, and Yeonjun could see tangible fear flash in his eyes. Before the boy could get a word out, Yeonjun rushed to reassure him. He darted forward and grabbed Soobin’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “It’s not anything like that, I promise,” he said.

Soobin blinked rapidly, still staring at Yeonjun fearfully, and Yeonjun moved even closer, their knees pressing together. “I just want to talk about us, specifically our mental health,” he elaborated. Soobin’s eyes were still wide, but he slowly relaxed, blinking again and closing his mouth. He scrunched his brows as he processed the words, before nodding. “Oh, um, okay,” he replied.

Yeonjun smiled awkwardly, before looking down at their hands. He traced one of Soobin’s fingers as he spoke, keeping his voice level and light.

“I see how hard it is for you whenever you have to go back to BigHit,” he began. “And I’m worried that you’re beginning to stress about…this relationship. And I don’t want that.”

“I’m not stressed-.”

“Soobin-ah.”

Soobin sighed, slouching and rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Okay, maybe I do stress. But only because I want to make sure you’re happy,” he rushed, head snapping back up. Yeonjun smiled weakly, brushing Soobin’s bangs out of his eyes. “I know, baby, but you can’t stress about our relationship and stress about work, it’s too much,” he murmured.

Soobin stared at the elder, before sighing again, nodding. His head hung, and Yeonjun didn’t want to make him sad. But he supposed that it wasn’t the happiest conversation, so Soobin’s reaction wasn’t abnormal.

He squeezed the boy’s hand. “I want us to have open communication. I will tell you if I need anything from you. I want to be an escape for you, I want you to have control when you’re here, because I know you don’t get it over there,” he instructed slowly. Soobin locked eyes with Yeonjun, swallowing audibly.

Yeonjun only smiled reassuringly, lifting his free hand to stroke Soobin’s earlobe. “I know what I signed up for when we started dating, and I would never resent you for anything we have to go through,” he promised. Soobin’s lashes fluttered, and he leaned into Yeonjun’s hand. Yeonjun’s lips turned upward and he stroked Soobin’s cheek with his thumb lovingly.

“You’re worth all of it, by the way,” he added, voice dropping to a whisper. Soobin blushed at that, looking down and leaning back a bit. Yeonjun pulled his hand away and giggled as Soobin covered his face. “Yah, why do you have to be so sappy, hyung?” he moaned, muffled. Yeonjun cooed, ruffling Soobin’s hair and standing up, grabbing both of their bowls.

Soobin’s hands dropped and he tilted his head up to look at Yeonjun, who gave him a quick wink. “Because I like making you flustered,” he responded, side-stepping the idol and going to put everything up in the kitchen.

As he rinsed out the bowls, Soobin walked in and went up to Yeonjun. His hands found the elder’s waist, and Yeonjun laughed as Soobin draped himself over Yeonjun’s back. His chin hooked his shoulder, and he turned to whisper in Yeonjun’s ear. “I’m gonna start making _you_ flustered,” he breathed.

Yeonjun shivered, all traces of teasing disappearing as he closed his eyes for a moment, cheeks burning. Soobin hummed, pressing a kiss to Yeonjun’s cheek, before releasing him and helping him clean up. Yeonjun had to blink a few times and shake his hair out to clear his head and ignore the warmth running through him. He only shot Soobin a playful glare, which the younger giggled at, and then the two finished cleaning up quickly.

When they were finished, they sat down on the couch, and Yeonjun knew the conversation wasn’t entirely over yet. Soobin knew too, and he settled quickly, grabbing one of Yeonjun’s hands and messing with his fingers.

“I guess I’m just afraid you’re going to leave,” he confessed quietly. “It’s like you’re too good to be true, and each time could be the last time. And that’s why it’s so hard for me to leave.”

Yeonjun nodded in understanding, watching Soobin’s long fingers slide over his as he traced them. “I get it. I feel the same way, but I promise that I’m not going anywhere. And if I feel like there’s things we need to talk about, then I’ll talk about them with you,” he assured. Soobin nodded, his hands stilling as he looked back at the older. “I’ll be honest with you too,” he reciprocated.

Yeonjun smiled, and nodded, pulling his hand from Soobin’s only so he could cup the boy’s face and kiss him. Soobin smiled into it, kissing back and grabbing Yeonjun’s hips to pull him closer.

They made out for a while, until they were restless and halfway on top of each other and Yeonjun’s head was so hazy he couldn’t remember what day it was.

Soobin, who had taken Yeonjun’s advice to be in control to areas Yeonjun had expected, only laughed at Yeonjun’s state. “Who’s flustered now, hyung?” he teased. Yeonjun groaned, hitting Soobin’s chest as he shakily climbed off of him and stood up. “You’re a menace,” he shot back lamely. Soobin didn’t reply, only stood up and gently pushed Yeonjun all the way to his bedroom. “I am an innocent angel,” he argued.

Yeonjun grumbled, letting himself be guided, and when Soobin closed the door, he gave Yeonjun a look that the elder hadn’t seen yet. But it made him feel some type of way, and in that moment, he was really glad that they had already talked and worked everything out beforehand.

Because he was pretty sure he was about to forget everything except Soobin’s name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon with the next update! I hope you enjoyed!


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This timeline has been adjusted. In this universe, Blue Hour came out right before the pandemic lockdowns began (so around April 2020). Other than that, everything else remains the same!

Yeonjun was at his dance studio when his assistant ran up to him, brandishing his cell phone. “Sunbae! It keeps ringing, I think it might be important,” he said, out of breath. Yeonjun put down the towel he had been using to wipe sweat off his neck, and took his phone in his hand. He checked his notifications, and furrowed his brow as he saw that Soobin had tried to call him twice about an hour ago, and the most recent calls were from Hueningkai.

It wasn’t like Kai to call, he usually blew up the groupchat instead, so Yeonjun felt his chest constrict with worry. He thanked his assistant, before calling a break and walking into his office. He closed the door and took a deep breath before he hit Kai’s contact and lifted his phone to his ear. It rang twice before the maknae picked up, and Yeonjun’s eyes widened at his distressed tone. “Yeonjun-hyung!” he screeched through the line. Yeonjun had to pull his phone away momentarily as he flinched from the noise.

“What, Kai, what’s wrong?” he asked, raising his voice so Kai was sure to hear him over his own screeching. The younger heaved, before sitting down it sounded like. Yeonjun closed his eyes for a moment, knowing the boy had a tendency to exaggerate rather simplistic things. “Nothing is wrong! Kind of. Or maybe everything is wrong, I don’t know anything anymore!” Kai replied, words running together in his hurriedness.

Yeonjun scrunched his eyes as he tried to figure out what Kai was talking about. “What? Kai, please start making sense.” Kai then offered a series of apologies, and Yeonjun sighed, slouching in his chair. He let the boy finish, before he finally started speaking clearly and slowly. “It’s this pandemic, hyung,” he contextualised. Yeonjun’s heart reacted immediately, sinking into his stomach. He knew that anything related to the pandemic that had upended the world was going to be negative.

“They cancelled our entire tour.”

Yeonjun exhaled, eyes closing as he hung his head. He couldn’t say he was surprised, he knew that concerts and large events were going to be the first to go once things started getting really bad. He knew BigHit was delaying making a decision, but that soon it wouldn’t be up to them, it would be up to the government. And the government had just announced a nationwide strict lockdown. So it wasn’t surprising that BigHit made the decision to cancel both world tours scheduled for each group.

Yeonjun sat up, blinking away some spots. “I’m really fucking sorry, Hyuka, I know how hard you guys have been working,” he replied quietly. Kai sighed, and Yeonjun could picture him shaking his head. “We found out earlier. Soobin-hyung said he tried calling?” Yeonjun rested his chin in his hand. “Yeah, I was in rehearsals. Should I come over?” he asked, a spike of concern for his boyfriend shooting up his spine.

Soobin’s mental health was already fragile, less so after their productive conversation about communication, but something like this was unprecedented. So much so that a mental breakdown would actually be warranted if you asked Yeonjun. Suddenly, he wanted to go even if Kai said he didn’t need to. He just hoped he’d be let in.

“I mean, maybe. Everyone is kind of bummed out, so it may not be very fun,” he replied. Yeonjun scoffed as he stood up and grabbed his jacket and wallet. “I don’t need to be entertained, Huening, I want to be there for you. I can bring food?” he offered. He stepped out of his office and waved his assistant over as Kai took up the offer. “I’ll be over in an hour,” Yeonjun said, and then hung up. He directed his assistant to finish the rehearsal, and then he was off.

He pulled his jacket on over his sweaty body, calculating in his head just how long he had to get home and shower, grab enough food for five, and sweet talk BigHit into letting him up to the dorms. He was _really_ glad he lived so close to his building.

Thankfully, BigHit appeared to have anticipating Yeonjun, and he was let up without conflict. He bowed to the security guard whose name he could never remember, and stepped into the elevator, holding the bags of food securely. He blew air out through his nose and hoped that good food and his presence could offer at least a little comfort to the members. He supposed his presence would mostly comfort Soobin, but Yeonjun had subtly taken over the role of oldest hyung unofficially and he treated it as a high honour.

As he learned more about the intricacies of being a teenage Korean pop idol, he began to understood what each member needed. Kai needed someone he could rely on for advice and someone who was accepting of all of his quirks and habits. Beomgyu needed a best friend, someone who would do stupid things with him and who would tease the others when they were being annoying. Taehyun just needed someone consistent, who would indulge his whims when he needed it.

And Soobin just needed someone to take the pressure off being leader. He needed someone to take care of him as he cared for the others.

Yeonjun hoped he could be what all of them needed. He tried his best not the let his own pressure get to him.

The elevator dinged and Yeonjun stepped out, adjusting his hold of the bags of food as he walked down the long hallway. As he walked, he wondered what he often wondered when he was in the BigHit building. Well, two things really.

The first was if he’d ever get to catch a glimpse of global superpower kpop group BTS, of whom had an uncanny ability of remaining either isolated to their section of the building or sneaking their way through the brightly lit hallways. The second was where his office would have been, had he taken the job as choreographer.

It would be on the ground level, with the rest of the administrative offices, but maybe it’d be on the second floor, where the practice rooms were. He really couldn’t be sure. It was a waste of time to wonder, but he couldn’t help it. Being surrounded by the walls that could have built his life, his brain just drifted.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts as he approached the door to the dorms. He knocked twice and waited. He heard shuffling and a few voices, before the door swung open and Beomgyu greeted him. “Thank fuck, you brought food,” he said in lieu of a formal greeting, but Yeonjun only giggled, handing off a bag and walking inside. He shut the door behind him before following Beomgyu into the common area. The others were sat down on the couch, talking quietly, but they stopped as Yeonjun entered.

Kai shrieked, jumping up and launching himself at the elder. Yeonjun narrowly managed to put the second bag of food on the counter before catching Kai in a hug. “Hyung! I’m so glad you’re here!” he cried. Yeonjun ‘awed’ as he hugged the youngest member, and he saw the others watching fondly—if not a bit sadly. Soobin had a small morose smile decorating his beautiful face, and Yeonjun returned it weakly.

He patted Kai’s back a few times, before the boy finally let go and dashed over to where Beomgyu was already pulling food out of the bags. Yeonjun shook out his hair as he walked over to where Soobin and Taehyun had stayed sitting. “Hey, Taehyunnie,” Yeonjun murmured, ruffling the boy’s blonde hair. Taehyun smiled a bit, pushing himself up off the cushions to go help the others divvy up the food.

Yeonjun sat down in the space he vacated and rotated to look at Soobin. The younger smiled shyly, but it fell away quickly, replaced by a downtrodden expression of defeat. Yeonjun’s own face softened in response and he slid an arm around Soobin’s waist. The boy exhaled, shoulders sloping as he let Yeonjun move closer, his other hand resting on Soobin’s knee. “I’m really sorry, baby,” Yeonjun whispered, studying Soobin’s face closely.

The leader sighed again, fiddling his fingers. “We just worked so hard,” he replied quietly. Yeonjun nodded, moving the arm around Soobin’s waist up so he could cradle the back of his neck with his hand, thumb stroking his ear comfortingly. “I know you did, I know,” he murmured. Soobin’s head stayed low, eyes trained on his jumpy fingers, and Yeonjun wasn’t sure what to say.

But maybe Soobin didn’t need to hear reassuring words, maybe the best thing Yeonjun could do was exactly what he was doing. Being there, holding him close, letting him know that he had someone who cared about how he felt. Yeonjun knew BigHit valued their member’s feelings, but that the economic side of things would always come first. That was yet another reason why he had turned down the job offer. But that’s not what was important right then.

Yeonjun pushed the thoughts back and kissed Soobin’s cheek. “Are you hungry? I brought all of your favourites,” he said with a hint of a smile. Soobin’s lips lifted just a little too, which made Yeonjun feel a little better. “You didn’t have to do that,” the blue-haired said, nudging Yeonjun’s side. Yeonjun smiled fully now, giving Soobin’s ear a pinch as he rubbed his nose into Soobin’s cheek. The older shied away from it, but not too much, giggling. “Of course I did, who do you think I am?” Yeonjun admonished.

Soobin laughed again, music to Yeonjun’s ears, before Yeonjun kissed his cheek again and stood up. “I’ll go grab us some before the heathens take it all,” he said. Soobin looked up at him, eyes glittering, and then Yeonjun dashed off to the tiny kitchenette where the younger members were piling up their plates high.

“Thank you for bringing so much, hyung!” Kai exclaimed, giving an awkward bow to Yeonjun, careful not to spill his plate. Yeonjun smiled, waving it off and getting two plates for him and Soobin. Taehyun smiled warmly at Yeonjun as he stepped out of the way. “We needed this, so thank you, seriously,” he expressed. Yeonjun didn’t know what to say, so he just smiled and brushed it off again. Beomgyu gave him two thumbs up as he passed, already chewing on a bite.

As they went back into the living room, Yeonjun hurriedly put together two plates of food, grabbed some chopsticks, and returned to the living room as well. Taehyun and Beomgyu shared one couch, while Kai had settled himself on the floor with a plushie Yeonjun still couldn’t remember the name of. Soobin smiled up at him, taking the plate Yeonjun extended, and after stepping over Kai’s knee, Yeonjun fell into place beside Soobin.

The five boys ate silently for a couple minutes, clearly hungry, and Yeonjun was just glad to see them eating. He ventured a question as soon as there was a lull in eating. “Do you guys know what happens now?”

Each member glanced at each other, before Taehyun answered. “We’re not sure. We’re just supposed to stay here and wait for them to make a decision,” he said. Yeonjun nodded, brow furrowed a bit as he took another bite. If this limbo the boys were in made _him_ uncomfortable, he couldn’t imagine how the others felt. Like the rug was pulled from under them, lives upended and with no clear path in sight, it had to be overwhelming.

Yeonjun looked at Soobin then, worried, but the boy seemed fine, eating his rice quietly. “Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate to ask,” he told everyone, feeling useless. The members offered him kind smiles, and everyone went back to eating. It was awkward for a few moments, and then Beomgyu suggested they all share a bottle of soju and put on a movie.

Once everything was cleaned up and the leftovers put away, Kai started the movie while Taehyun poured everyone some soju and Beomgyu passed the cups around. Yeonjun stayed by Soobin’s side as the leader held his cup but didn’t drink it, instead curling up and resting his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder.

Yeonjun frowned, but held his boyfriend to his side and indulged the others in watching the movie, even though Kai commentated the entire time. It was rather endearing, even if Yeonjun pretended to be annoyed. He was just glad the maknae was able to let himself be distracted. One glance at Taehyun’s fingers carding through Beomgyu’s hair as the two sat close together told Yeonjun everything he needed to know about how they were feeling, so the only mystery left was Soobin. His silence was unusual and the elder didn’t quite know how to breach it.

Communication was something they had promised each other, but Yeonjun didn’t know if this quite fit the bill. The situation wasn’t caused by either of them, Soobin was quiet because of Yeonjun. He was quiet because he was dealing with something nobody had prepared him for. And Yeonjun didn’t know how he was supposed to be able to help. He couldn’t stop the pandemic, he couldn’t restart the tour, he couldn’t do anything except wait until Soobin was ready to talk about it.

After the movie ended, Yeonjun instructed the others to rest and be kind to themselves, reminding them that everything that had happened was out of their control and that nobody was going to be angry with them, least of all their fans. After giving each member a hug, Yeonjun was left alone with Soobin. The boy had gotten up only to pour out the soju he didn’t drink and wash the cup. Yeonjun watched from a distance for a moment, standing in the darkened living room.

He bit his lip as he approached the boy, eyes shining in concern. “Soobin-ah,” he said gently. The taller looked at him, and his eyes were so sad it broke Yeonjun’s heart. “Do you think you’d be able to come over?”

Soobin blinked a few times before shrugging, wiping his hands on a dish towel before running them through his hair. “I’m not sure,” he replied. Yeonjun chewed his lip, leaning against the countertop. This closed-off version of Soobin was proving to be very difficult for him to navigate. He wanted to encourage him to open up, express what he was feeling, but he didn’t want to push him.

So he sighed, standing up straight and staring at his feet. “Alright, well, I should probably go.” He glanced up at Soobin and saw no reaction, not that he was entirely expecting one. “Text me, okay?” he asked. Soobin nodded, puffing his cheeks out before brushing past Yeonjun and disappearing down the hallway that contained their bedrooms. Yeonjun sighed, grabbing his jacket and wallet and leaving the dormitory.

Yeonjun heard the knock close to midnight. He was still up, unable to quiet his mind enough to sleep properly. He was brewing some chamomile when he heard the knock, and he felt a surge of relief course through him as he put down his phone and raced to let Soobin in.

When he opened the door, he saw the boy, dressed in his pajamas, hair hidden underneath his hood. He had a bag slung over his shoulder, and Yeonjun could see dried tear tracks on his cheeks. He didn’t say anything as he stepped aside to let the younger in, just closed the door securely behind him and walked around to look his boyfriend in the eye. Soobin looked back at him, thankfully, and Yeonjun opened his mouth to speak.

But the words never came, because in a second Soobin dropped his bag on the ground and pulled Yeonjun into a crushing hug. Yeonjun’s eyes widened in momentary surprise, before he locked his arms around Soobin and closed his eyes, hugging the boy as tightly as possible. He breathed him in, felt his cheek on his shoulder, felt his racing heart pressed against his chest. Soobin’s hands grabbed fistfuls of Yeonjun’s sweater, and Yeonjun just held him tighter. Maybe words weren’t what Soobin needed, maybe he just needed physical contact. Tangible reassurance that he wasn’t alone.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered. Soobin sniffled and stood back up straight, letting go of Yeonjun. Yeonjun stayed close though, reaching a hand up to wipe a single tear away. “Go put your things in my room, and I’ll make us some tea, okay?” he instructed. Soobin nodded, taking a deep breath and stepping back to pick up his bag. He gave Yeonjun a tiny smile, which Yeonjun returned, and then went around the corner to the bedroom.

Yeonjun went and made some jasmine tea instead, pouring it into two mugs and carrying them into his bedroom. He was delighted to see that the boy had already taken off his shoes and was pulling his charging cord out of his bag. Yeonjun wanted nothing more than for Soobin to make himself at home whenever he was over, and he was glad to see him doing just that. He sat down the mugs on his nightstand, before pushing the covers back and sitting down.

Soobin plugged his phone in before joining him, accepting the mug of tea. Yeonjun blew on his before taking a sip, and then turned to face Soobin fully. “You’ve been so quiet,” he started. “I’m not sure what to do.” Honesty was the best policy.

Soobin leaned against the headboard, messing with his fingers. “I’m not sure what to do either,” he whispered. Yeonjun frowned, not liking that answer but understanding where he was coming from. He shifted to be closer, reaching out and taking one of Soobin’s hands. “I’m here for you, you know that right?” he asked. Soobin looked at him, eyes searching Yeonjun’s. “You’re too good to me,” he replied, voice soft.

Yeonjun immediately shook his head, clasping Soobin’s hand in both of his. “Shh, none of that,” he whispered. Soobin blinked a few times, before taking a shaky breath. Yeonjun watched closely, words escaping him yet again. Such fickle things, words. Soobin took a sip of his tea, before moving to lay down. “I’m gonna sleep,” he said. Yeonjun looked at him sadly, before nodding and reaching to turn off his bedside lamp.

Soobin shifted until he was comfortable, and Yeonjun lied down. He glanced over at his boyfriend in the darkness, but he couldn’t see much, just the outline of his body. He wanted to cuddle up to him, but maybe Soobin just wanted to be left alone for a bit. Yeonjun bit back a sigh before he settled in and closed his eyes. He fell asleep as soon as Soobin’s breathing evened out.

Yeonjun woke up to a piercingly loud crack of thunder. His body jolted as his eyes opened, and he blinked sleepily for a few seconds. Usually, he’d just go right back to sleep, but in the brief moments of consciousness he noticed that the right side of the bed was empty. He instantly sat up, rubbing his eyes and forcing himself to wake up. He couldn’t shit in the dark, and so he grabbed his phone. It was just past four in the morning, and where was Soobin?

The door to the bathroom was ajar and the light was off so that was out. Yeonjun stood up, a little unbalanced, and saw that Soobin’s bag was still on the floor, so he had to be somewhere in the apartment. He tuned in his listening skills, but picked up on nothing.

He walked out of his room with furrowed brows, wondering where Soobin could be, and what was wrong. As he entered the dim living room, he saw it was empty, but the curtains covering the sliding door to the balcony had been pushed aside. Yeonjun stared at the door for a second, before going over and pushing it open. It slid easily, unlocked, and when Yeonjun stepped outside he saw Soobin sitting in one of the chairs, knees pulled up to his chest. It was pouring outside, the wind freezing, and Yeonjun crossed his arms tightly over his chest as he approached.

“Soobin?”

Soobin lifted his head, and Yeonjun didn’t need any light to know the boy had been crying. He was still crying. It broke Yeonjun’s heart, made his insides twist painfully, but part of him was relieved to see some sort of reaction other than silence. Even if it was crying, at least Soobin wasn’t suppressing what he was feeling.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t w-want to wake you up,” he breathed. Yeonjun looked at him sadly, before holding his hand out. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here,” he said simply. Soobin sniffled, but accepted the hand and stood up. Yeonjun led him back inside, turning to close and lock the door, before staring at Soobin.

The younger’s eyes darted away, and Yeonjun sighed, feeling defeated. He just had no idea what to do.

“Hyung.”

Yeonjun’s head snapped up, and he saw Soobin looking at him with fresh tears in his eyes. “Everything is falling apart,” he whispered, before breaking down. His entire face crumpled, and his shoulders slumped as his head fell and he cried. Yeonjun moved then, pulling Soobin into his arms. He wrapped his arms around his torso tightly, nuzzled his face into his neck, and held as tight as possible. “It’s going to be okay, sweetheart, this isn’t your fault,” he whispered.

Soobin clung to him, hands gripping Yeonjun’s hips so hard he was probably leaving bruises but Yeonjun didn’t care. He was just glad that he was able to finally _do_ something. “The entire world is on pause, and it’s going to un-pause one day, we just have to be patient, and be safe,” he reassured, voice soft. He felt Soobin nod, and he squeezed him tighter, pressing a light kiss under his ear. “Let’s go back to bed, okay?” he whispered.

Soobin sniffled, nodding again as he dropped his hands and stepped away. Yeonjun reached a hand up to wipe the boy’s cheeks, and Soobin exhaled slightly. “I’m sorry, for being so closed off. I just don’t know what to feel,” he murmured. Yeonjun shook his head, kissing the boy’s forehead. “We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” he promised. Soobin nodded, and let himself be guided back to the bedroom.

They both got under the covers, and this time Soobin moved into Yeonjun’s space, cuddling him. Yeonjun softened, adjusting so he could hold his boyfriend comfortably. Soobin rested his head and hand on Yeonjun’s chest, and Yeonjun carded his fingers through his hair. The younger tilted his head just a bit, and Yeonjun gave him a gentle smile. Soobin didn’t return it, but he did push himself up just enough to cup Yeonjun’s cheek and give him a tender kiss.

Yeonjun was a bit surprised, but he kissed back all the same, Soobin’s lips soft and light against his. His large hand curled around to Yeonjun’s neck, anchoring his head in place, and Yeonjun relaxed completely, letting his lips move with Soobin’s. They kissed fluidly for several seconds, parting and reuniting, a little wet and a lot sweet. It registered somewhere in Yeonjun’s mind that this was the first kiss on the lips they’d shared that day. With that thought in mind, he kissed back a little harder.

They didn’t go back to sleep for another hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! These updates will happen randomly, I don't have a set schedule as I am also trying to keep my Yeonbin and Taegyu series active! I appreciate your patience!


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not know anything about Yeonjun's family or personal life. This is ALL fictional, only the setting is real. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience with these updates! I know they're pretty slow, since my Yeonbin and Taegyu series usually get priority, but I am still in love with this AU and want to see it through to the finish line! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is sticking with me. :') It really means so much to me.

Yeonjun woke up to a heavy weight on his chest. He couldn’t help but smile as he blinked away the blurriness. Sunshine streamed in through the windows, mocking them since they were still in lockdown and could only go outside for essential reasons. Yeonjun rubbed his eyes, careful not to bump the top of Soobin’s head. The younger was halfway on top of Yeonjun, head tucked under his collarbones in a way that couldn’t possibly be comfortable.

He appeared to be completely asleep though, so he must have found it comfortable. Yeonjun smiled to himself as he lied there, feeling the soft rise and fall of Soobin’s chest, the way his fingers twitched near Yeonjun’s hip. One of his legs was between both of Yeonjun’s, and if someone were to walk in right now, it would be difficult to distinguish where one boy started and the other ended.

Yeonjun gently ran his hand through Soobin’s hair, feeling the soft strands fall between his fingers. He supposed one reason he was grateful for the lockdown was the sheer amount of _time_ it had given him with Soobin. Since BigHit had halted all projects temporarily, the boys were in a limbo, unsure of what to do with the newfound freedom. Of course, it wasn’t total freedom. They couldn’t leave the BigHit building, and if Soobin wanted to stay with Yeonjun—a simple hop across the street, literally—he had to stay for at least ten days and get checked by the company doctor before returning. Yeonjun wondered what it was like to be that valuable of a human being.

He continued to stroke Soobin’s hair lightly, staring out at the rising sun and thinking about what the two could do that day. They’d been holed up together for four days, and they had yet to get bored. They found joy in the simple things. They got to be a domestic, normal couple, and the effect it had on both of them—especially Soobin—was extraordinary. Soobin got to be a normal nineteen-year-old boy for a couple months. He didn’t have deadlines, his meals weren’t rushed, he wasn’t exhausted at the end of every night (with a couple exceptions courtesy of Yeonjun), and Yeonjun hadn’t seen the boy that happy before.

He smiled widely to himself, fingers drifting to stroke Soobin’s earlobe methodically. Maybe they could start that one anime they’d talked about—Death Note—or maybe they could just lie in bed all day and talk about their place in the universe. He supposed he could just ask Soobin when he woke up what he would like to do. This newfound freedom was temporary, and Yeonjun would be loath to take any of it away from his boyfriend.

Said boyfriend seemed to still be fast asleep, unmoving on top of Yeonjun, nose scrunching every now and then. Yeonjun was content to lie awake and caress Soobin’s face, but he was starting to get hungry and he really had to use the bathroom. He bit his lip, before very carefully attempting to move Soobin off him.

He slipped his arms under the boy, lifting him so he could move his own body out from under him. He lowered Soobin gently against the mattress, holding his breath. Thankfully, the boy didn’t stir much, only exhaled and curled into the warmth Yeonjun left behind. Yeonjun smiled, leaning down and kissing Soobin’s cheek. He darted to the bathroom then, grabbing a towel and deciding to take a quick shower as well.

When he stepped out of the shower, he combed his hair and wrapped a towel around his waist. He went into his closet to get dressed in some sweats and a white shirt, and when he walked back to his bedroom, Soobin was sitting up. He seemed to have just woken up, hair sticking out in all directions and a fist adorably rubbing his eyes. Yeonjun smiled as he tossed the towel into the hamper.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” he greeted. Soobin smiled softly, covering his mouth as he yawned. Yeonjun knee-crawled across the bed until he was next to Soobin. He pushed his bangs aside so he could kiss his forehead and relished in the blush he got in return. “What should we do today?” he asked. Soobin stifled another yawn before swinging his legs out and standing up. “I’m going to brush my teeth first, that’s what,” he replied.

Yeonjun chuckled, letting him go and standing himself to go brew them some tea. He put the kettle on and stared out his large front windows. It was still sunny, a beautiful day, but there were far fewer people on the street, hardly any cars, it was almost eerie how abandoned everything looked. Yeonjun looked away.

Soobin had brushed out his hair when Yeonjun walked in with two steaming mugs, one of which he handed to Soobin. “Thank you, hyung,” he admonished. Yeonjun only smiled, setting his on the nightstand to cool and cuddling up against Soobin’s side. He kissed his exposed shoulder a few times, before resting his cheek against it. “Any messages from the boys?” he asked, voice slightly muffled. Soobin swallowed his drink and set it down, picking up his phone.

Yeonjun’s fingers ran through the back of Soobin’s hair, he always had to be touching the boy in some capacity. The younger scrolled through his messages, clicking on the groupchat. Yeonjun supposed he could have looked at his own phone, but it was so far away and Soobin was too warm to leave. “Just Kai saying he misses me, and a few inappropriate comments from Beomgyu,” he informed. Yeonjun laughed, dropping his hand and falling back onto the pillows.

Soobin twisted to smile down at him and Yeonjun smiled back. “Do you miss being busy?” he asked, hushed. Soobin contemplated this, humming a little and tracing his pointer finger down the bridge of Yeonjun’s nose. “Sometimes. I miss creating music mostly, and learning new dances,” he answered. Yeonjun nodded, kissing the pad of Soobin’s finger as it passed his lips. Soobin smiled, pulling his hand away.

“I could always teach you some dances, I am a choreographer after all,” Yeonjun offered. Soobin giggled, throwing a leg over Yeonjun’s waist and settling in his lap. Yeonjun rested his hands on Soobin’s waist, sitting up a little as Soobin propped him up with some more pillows. “We tried that once, we didn’t get very far,” Soobin reminded, still giggling. Yeonjun blushed a bit, pinching Soobin’s sides and making him squeak. “Yah! You enjoyed our extracurricular activities,” he shot back.

Soobin stuck his tongue out, and Yeonjun stuck his tongue out back, and then they both dissolved into laughter and Yeonjun was so, so happy. He bit back three little words that had been trying to escape for quite some time. He wasn’t sure if it was too early—was seven months too soon?—but he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to keep them to himself. Right now, with Soobin laughing on his lap as sunshine washed over him, he looked like something straight out of a fairy tale and Yeonjun was only human.

“What?” Soobin asked, clearly noticing Yeonjun’s lovesick gaze. Yeonjun felt his cheeks burn as he just smiled, leaning up to kiss Soobin’s nose. “You’re just so cute, Soobinie,” he cooed. Soobin blushed a bright red as he rolled his eyes, patting Yeonjun’s chest awkwardly a few times. “Hyung, you’re so embarrassing,” he whined.

Yeonjun chuckled. “You love it.”

Soobin locked eyes with Yeonjun, softening a little. “Yeah, I do.”

Yeonjun swallowed, eyes widening a little before Soobin pulled him close and slotted their mouths together. They kissed languidly and lazily, but with a simmering passion that threatened to overtake Yeonjun’s mind. When Soobin kissed him he tended to lose all sense of time and the only thing that mattered was the boy’s lips against his. Soobin was a gentle kisser but not without conviction. His lips glided over Yeonjun’s smoothly, but his hands contrasted the movements as they gripped Yeonjun’s hips tightly.

Yeonjun felt himself grow weak, a soft whimper bubbling up in his throat as he slid two hands into Soobin’s hair and pulled him closer. Soobin smiled against his lips, causing their teeth to click, but it was so adorable it made Yeonjun laugh too. They parted then, but not before Soobin stole one more kiss. He moved off of Yeonjun then, getting up and going to the bathroom to shower most likely. Yeonjun only smiled, watching him for a moment, before getting up as well.

He picked up his mug of tea and took a few sips now that it had cooled enough. He searched for his phone and found it under his pillow, dead. He sighed, plugging it into the charger and walking out to the living room to do some stretches. It was part of his morning routine, and sometimes Soobin joined and sometimes he didn’t. The boy really did hate any form of exercise except for dance. _“Because that’s not exercise, hyung, that’s moving with rhythm.”_

Yeonjun smiled to himself—how many times a day did he do that? —and lifted his arms in the first of his stretches. He also focused his breathing, taking deep breaths, eyes fluttering shut. It was muscle memory by now, and so he let his body move of its own accord as he did his best to relax and prepare for the day. Of course, he wasn’t nearly as stressed as he used to be, so the breathing exercises were more just habit now. But still, it couldn’t hurt.

When his chakras were aligned, he shook out his joints and put his empty mug in the sink. The shower had turned off a few minutes ago, so Yeonjun went back to his room to see if Soobin was out of the shower yet. The windows were slightly foggy from the steam and Yeonjun grinned at Soobin as he walked out wearing clean clothes, hair damp. “The water pressure in your shower is better than the shower at the dorms,” he remarked, giggling.

Yeonjun scrunched up his nose, sitting down on the edge of the bed and picking up his phone. “All the more reason for you to stay here,” he said. Soobin hummed, moving onto the bed and lying down, head falling to rest in Yeonjun’s lap. Yeonjun didn’t even flinch, just lowered his hand to scratch Soobin’s scalp. Soobin blinked up at him, and Yeonjun looked down, giving him a wink. “You know I’d stay here for forever if I could, hyung,” Soobin whispered.

He sounded very serious suddenly, so Yeonjun lowered his phone and bent to kiss the tip of Soobin’s nose. “I know, baby.” He lifted his head then, phone finally turning back on. Soobin busied himself with his own phone, holding it over his face as he kept his head in Yeonjun’s lap. Yeonjun opened up his messages first, reading a few that weren’t that important, before stopping on one that definitively caught his attention.

It was from his mother, and according to her message, Yeonjun’s aunt had caught the virus. Yeonjun wasn’t that close with his aunt, but he knew how much his mom loved her sister, and so he felt his heart drop into his stomach. “Fuck.”

Soobin lowered his phone instantly, looking up at Yeonjun, who was typing rapidly. He offered his condolences to his mother, asked if she was okay, and then asked if she wanted him to come home. He didn’t want to leave Seoul or leave Soobin, but he knew how much his mom needed him during moments like these. “Hyung? What’s wrong?” Soobin asked, sitting up and pushing his hair out of his eyes.

Yeonjun didn’t look at him as his mom replied, telling him that she did want him to come home, but understood if he wasn’t able to. “My aunt has the virus,” he said, and he heard Soobin’s sharp intake of air. He bit his lip as he tried to figure out what to do. His mind was swirling, half of him wanting to go and the other half wanting to stay. If he left, he wouldn’t be able to see Soobin for at least a month.

When he looked at his boyfriend, he saw worry first and dread second, as if Soobin himself had reached the same conclusions should Yeonjun leave. But then Soobin schooled himself and took Yeonjun’s hand. “Go, hyung. You should be with your family,” he said, voice soft. Yeonjun swallowed, putting his phone down and sighing. “My aunt will probably be okay, she’s young and healthy. My eomma just…she needs the extra support.” He felt awful, leaving Soobin behind for so long, and part of him was screaming not to do it.

But his family was important, and he knew that if the roles were reversed there was no way he would let Soobin stay with him over his family. Soobin kissed Yeonjun once, quickly, before pulling back and squeezing his hand. “I’ll be alright. I want you to be there, to be with them, okay?” he whispered. And though his voice was steady, a very slight glisten of moisture appeared in his eyes, and Yeonjun’s heart broke. He really fucking hated the state of the world right now.

“I’ll FaceTime you every single day, okay?” he assured. Soobin smiled a bit and nodded. Yeonjun cupped the boy’s cheek, giving it a few strokes. “And, I can’t go visit until I know eomma doesn’t have it, and that’ll be a few days,” he added. Soobin nodded again, and then the two were hugging. Yeonjun wrapped Soobin up in his arms and closed his eyes as he hugged him as tightly as possible.

The separation would be hard, but it would be for the right reasons, and Yeonjun knew they’d get through it. But still, as he held Soobin his arms, and as the younger let out the softest sniffle, he couldn’t help but fear that something else would threaten to come between them while he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you for the next update! Go check out my [ Yeonbin](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870156) and [ Taegyu](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1958551) series if you haven't yet! They're my pride and joy and are updated pretty regularly! 
> 
> Stay safe!


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THIS STORY!!!! 
> 
> I am very sorry for the slow updates, I just have so many oneshots that I want to keep writing in between this, but I'll try and be better! Thank you for everyone who decided to hold out hope that this story would continue, haha. 
> 
> I hope you're all staying safe and healthy! I don't know when I'll update this next, but we are reaching the climax soon, and then it'll be over! I hope it meets your expectations. :) 
> 
> ALSO please read the endnotes as well!!!

If Soobin wasn’t in the studio, practice room, or his bedroom, he was sitting in the lounge, directly in front of the northwest-facing window. He frequented the spot so often the others had started looking there first when they couldn’t locate their leader. He would sit on the hard floor, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his phone in hand, speaking softly.

The window happened to be at the same level as Yeonjun’s bedroom window, something the two had discovered a few weeks ago, right before Yeonjun had left to go see his mother and sick aunt. In the two and a half weeks that Yeonjun wasn’t home, Soobin stood in front of the window and stared across the street into the darkness of Yeonjun’s empty bedroom.

It was cruel, really, how close they were physically. If not for the dozens of invisible barriers separating them, Soobin would be with Yeonjun, not looking at him from the somewhat chilly lounge of the BigHit Entertainment building.

Yeonjun had done an excellent job of Facetiming him while he was away at his mother’s, but Soobin didn’t want to take away too much of his precious time with his family. He wasn’t naïve enough to consider himself the most important person in Yeonjun’s life, at least not at the current moment. They hadn’t even been dating for a year, hadn’t exchanged ‘I love you’s’, hadn’t…hadn’t made any plans.

Though, that last part may have been Soobin’s fault. It was hard for him to make plans when his life was already pre-planned for years, sometimes down to the minute. All that was ahead of him for the next ten years were comebacks, performances, possible tours, and not a second to breathe. Even if the world stayed as it was, the company was already planning on their next project, sans live concerts, and Soobin couldn’t see the end.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love his job, he did love it, cherished it even. He understood now why outside relationships were discouraged, why any relationships were discouraged. That sort of commitment constantly conflicted with the commitment it took to be an idol, and Soobin was drowning. He couldn’t find a balance.

He missed Yeonjun so much it hurt, but he didn’t have time to process those feelings. He was too busy. He couldn’t slip, or his company would strip him of the little time he had with Yeonjun and then his relationship would disintegrate.

So, he stood by the window. He looked across at the dark square of Yeonjun’s bedroom, clutched his phone closer to his ear, and hoped that everything would be okay.

On the day that Yeonjun returned home to start his two-week quarantine, Soobin was antsy. He was usually good at turning his brain away from all things Yeonjun when he was practicing, but the extended time apart had made things infinitely harder. The elder had texted him that he was home right in the middle of one of Soobin’s choreography practices, and he had been distracted ever since.

“Hyung, you need to focus or you’re never gonna get out of here before midnight,” Taehyun whispered as their choreographer had to go over the move again because Soobin kept missing it. Soobin nodded, sweat dripping into his eyes as he took a deep breath and forced himself to pay attention. Taehyun gave him a concerned look, but turned back as well.

He did the move correctly, and the other three members cheered him, which gave him enough of a boost that he managed to do the entire routine with only minimal—and expected—mistakes. They ran through it several more times, until his chest was burning and it felt like there were ice cubes in his throat.

As soon as they were dismissed, Soobin dashed off, leaving his dongsaengs shaking their heads with little smiles on their faces at their leader’s antics. Soobin would never let them know, but he valued their support more than they knew. He would’ve told them, but the teasing would have never stopped.

He skipped showering first, running a towel through his hair and the back of his neck as he rushed up to the dorms. He fished his phone out of his pocket, fingers slippery as they punched in his passcode and opened up Facetime. He felt giddy, embarrassingly so, but he couldn’t help it. He raced through the hallways until he ended up in the lounge.

A smile spread across his face as he saw golden light flooding out of Yeonjun’s window. It had been dark for far too long.

He could see Yeonjun sitting on the bed, back to the window. It was hard to distinguish from Soobin’s vantage point, but he looked tired. He was slouching, but that’s as far as Soobin could deduce. Instead of trying to figure things out on his own, he pressed Yeonjun’s contact, biting his lip as it rang.

Yeonjun moved in the window, turning to reach for his phone on his nightstand. Soobin’s heart raced in anticipation, the line connecting.

“Hyung,” he breathed, hating how needy he sounded. He supposed he _was_ needy, though. There was some shuffling through the speaker, lining up exactly to the movements that Soobin was witnessing. Yeonjun moved on his bed until he was facing the window, his face coming into view. It wasn’t the clearest view, but it was enough. He could see Yeonjun, see his boyfriend, could almost even feel him.

He saw the boy smile, and it made Soobin’s heart explode. He lifted his hand, placing it against the glass and wishing the space between him and the love of his life would simply disappear and they could be together again.

Never in a million years would Soobin have expected himself to be such a lovesick fool. Leave it to Choi Yeonjun to continue to turn his life upside down.

“Hi, baby,” the elder whispered.

Soobin blushed, fingers pressing flat against the glass. “How was your flight?” he asked, biting down the ‘I miss you’s and ‘I love you’s he was itching to say. He saw Yeonjun lean against the window sill, head resting in his hand. “Boring. But I was excited to get back,” he replied. Soobin smiled shyly, sitting down on the floor criss-crossed. Yeonjun yawned, pulling the phone away as he covered his mouth.

“But your aunt is recovered, right? You…you didn’t come back too soon?” Soobin asked quietly. The last thing he wanted was for Yeonjun to have left too soon because of him. What they had…it wasn’t guaranteed. Shit happened, people grew apart, but family was forever. And Soobin would hate himself if he made himself the priority. No matter how strong his feelings were.

Yeonjun nodded quickly, sitting up and pressing his own hand against the glass of his window. “She’s okay. Eomma is okay too, I didn’t leave too early, don’t worry,” he reassured. Soobin bit his lip, looking down at his lap for a few seconds. It was a habit of his, whenever he got shy with what he wanted to say, and Yeonjun always noticed.

He didn’t miss it then, and if Soobin closed his eyes he could almost feel the hand under his chin, lifting his face back up. “Soobin-ah,” Yeonjun murmured. Soobin lifted his head, painting a smile on his face. “Yeah, sorry,” he rushed. He could just barely make out the soft smile on Yeonjun’s lips, but he could’ve been making that up. “I really missed you,” he breathed.

Soobin felt his cheeks heat up as his face fell again. He covered his eyes, shaking his head a little. “Hyung, you’re going to make me cry, stop it.” Yeonjun chuckled, and even through the grainy filter of the phone, it was a beautiful sound. But his words did reach a part deep inside Soobin, latching on and pulling so strongly it was almost overwhelming.

He looked up, eyes shining with a film of tears he hoped Yeonjun couldn’t see, and he lifted his hand to the glass again. “Nine days, and then we can see each other again. Really see each other,” he promised. Yeonjun nodded, smiling sweetly. The glass was starting to fog up from how close Soobin was, and so he wiped it away with his sleeve. He watched as Yeonjun moved to lie down on his side, still facing the window.

They should hang up, both get some rest, but neither made any move to. Sitting on the hard floor and listening to the sound of Yeonjun breathing was the only thing that Soobin wanted to do. The only thing he could do.

He started talking about what he had been up to, detailing the new choreography and telling Yeonjun he couldn’t wait for him to come and critique it. Yeonjun participated wonderfully, and spent his turn retelling a few incidents that occurred while in quarantine with his mother. It made Soobin laugh, and he hoped that one day he would be able to meet Yeonjun’s family. And that one day Yeonjun could meet his. So many things ahead of them.

Nearly an hour later, Soobin’s back and hips were aching from sitting on the unforgiving hardwood for so long, but he didn’t want to hang up. He didn’t want to have to go to sleep knowing Yeonjun was so close but so far away. But the elder had been yawning periodically for the last fifteen minutes, and Soobin felt bad keeping him up when he probably really needed to sleep after traveling.

“You should sleep, hyung,” he said. Yeonjun hummed, flashing him a sleepy smile from his window. “I can stay up, baby,” he replied. Soobin shook his head, uncrossing his legs. His joints screamed in protest, but it did feel good to stretch. He stood up, cradling the phone against his ear. He was sure the battery was going to die soon, anyway. “No, sleep. I can call you in the morning,” he assured.

Yeonjun nodded, yawning yet again. He sat up just a bit, pressing his palm flat against the glass. Soobin pressed his palm against his pane of glass too, and the two stared at each other for a moment. It was their version of a silent goodbye. Soobin felt a lot of emotions bubbling under the surface, unsure of which one he felt the strongest, but he pushed them down. “Goodnight, hyung,” he whispered.

It took a moment for Yeonjun to reply, which was unusual, so Soobin furrowed his brow, leaning closer to try and see better. It didn’t really help much, but Yeonjun still stood there, staring at him. “Soobin,” he murmured. Soobin blinked a few times, raising his brows. Yeonjun exhaled, fingers curling. “Soobin, I lo—.”

“Don’t!” Soobin cried. His eyes were wide and he felt his chest rise and fall rapidly as his breathing picked up. The way his body reacted to almost hearing the three words he had been dreaming about would have been comical if it wasn’t so real. He swallowed roughly, looking at Yeonjun’s surprised expression. “Don’t…don’t s-say it yet,” he managed, surprise tears gathering in his eyes.

He took a shaky breath, knowing he probably looked insane. He felt insane. “Don’t say it until I’m with you,” he explained nervously. “Please.”

Yeonjun stayed quiet on the line, before Soobin saw him nod slowly, smiling a little. “Okay, sweetheart,” he whispered. Soobin nodded, sniffling and quickly wiping his eyes. He gave the elder a smile after he collected himself, readjusting his phone in his hand. “Get some sleep, seriously,” he said, laughing a bit. Yeonjun laughed too, before nodding and sending Soobin a finger heart through the glass.

Soobin giggled and held one up in return, feeling a little childish but loving it. He watched Yeonjun lower his phone, and so Soobin did the same. He always let Yeonjun be the one to hang up.

The elder twisted until he was lying down again, and then he gave Soobin a little farewell wave. Soobin waved back, and then Yeonjun lifted his phone and hung up. Soobin locked his phone, and Yeonjun reached for his bedside lamp.

However, right before he turned it on, he hesitated. Soobin’s brow furrowed, and then he watched as his boyfriend sat up and lifted his elbow to his mouth. His other hand landed on his chest, and his entire body heaved as he coughed once.

And coughed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this story is not going to centre around Yeonjun suffering through covid, it's just a good segway into one of the main plot points, so hopefully it'll all make sense in the next few chapters! But don't worry, I'm taking covid out of the limelight very soon, because I think we're all pretty tired of it!


End file.
